Partially mash the chickpeas with a fork, leaving some whole for texture. (Aim for about three-quarters mashed.)
Finely chop the celery, red onion, celery, and scallions so you get some of each in every bite!
Transfer the chickpeas, celery, red onion, green onion, and cilantro to a large bowl.
Mix the mayonnaise, lemon juice, curry powder, cumin, turmeric, cayenne pepper, garlic, black pepper, and salt in a medium bowl. Add water to thin as desired.
Add the desired amount of dressing and mix to combine.
Make curried chickpea salad sandwiches, lettuce wraps, or stuffed pita pockets. Refrigerate leftovers for 4 to 5 days.